People love the storybook approach to engagements by having their significant others buy them rings and give them out of nowhere and with tons of surprise.. A surprise engagement has strengths, but so does a joint decision on getting engaged: so let’s consider the benefits and drawbacks when it comes to these approaches.
If you surprise your lover with an engagement ring, then you have the opportunity to create a storybook moment that you will both remember. This means that you can bust the ring out of nowhere, give it to your lover and then get a yes. This allows you both to be happy and to continue forward towards your marriage.
To add to this, it gives you plenty of freedom when it comes to organizing the engagement and picking out the ring. You have the opportunity to show your significant other how much you care and that you can pick out something that will receive a positive reaction. This also makes the moment more powerful for the couple.
Keep in mind that a surprise comes with some drawbacks. For example, you could try to ask your significant other to marry you too soon. This could then cause problems and negatively affect your relationship. Timing matters with engagements, so you put that at risk when you try to surprise your lover with an engagement ring without preparation.
On top of this, you also run a higher risk of your significant other saying no and leaving you with an engagement ring. This then would cost you thousands of dollars if you didn’t get insurance on the ring. This could cause you serious financial problems and other issues if you have a ring with no one to give it to.
Joint Decision Pros
Talking it over with your significant other ensures that you’re both ready for an engagement. If you talk things out, then you both can figure out when you should get engaged. This ensures that everyone feels ready and it also avoids any risk of you asking your lover too soon and causing harm to your relationship.
On top of this, you may not know how to pick out an engagement ring. By talking with your significant other about engagement, you can figure out what type of ring you should purchase and what would appeal to your lover. This way, you can make sure that you purchase an engagement ring that will make your lover happy and appreciative.
Joint Decision Cons
Some people like the storybook approach when it comes to engagements, so you may risk removing some of that excitement if you talk about it. This causes it to feel less spontaneous and it could come across as forced or too formal for your significant other. Make sure that you keep this in mind if you want to make a decision together.
As another drawback, you could lose control of the engagement. Maybe you had some ideas that you wanted to try out, but your significant other wants you to do it another way. This could cause you both to feel somewhat unsatisfied with the engagement and that could cause you both some problems later down the line.
While surprise engagements and join decisions both have their benefits and drawbacks, you should still talk with your lover about your future. See what he or she thinks and wants for the engagement and work towards a surprise or decided engagement based on how your significant other feels.